Thirty Days of Kink: Day Twenty One – Favorite BDSM Story

“Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)”

My favorite BDSM book is tough to choose. Being honest, there’s no doubt in my mind as to which one is my favorite. The problem is I’m a writer. I enjoy writing my own BDSM books, so it’s hard to pick from a growing list from both viewpoints. On one hand I have a couple of stories I absolutely love for the story itself. On the other hand, there are some books I love for the feelings it communicates and causes. My favorite BDSM book does both of these things, even though I may not entirely like that accomplishment. The Story of O has become a classic BDSM themed book, and I think many people within the community have read the story because it was considered a must. Let me explain why the book has become my favorite, and quite possibly will be no matter how many other books I read.

It’s a love letter: The Story of O was supposedly written as a series of love letters. These letters were said to be deeply inspired by the notion that a woman could not write a sadistic or even masochistic story. What’s become a classic for the genre became so to prove another wrong. While the story will continue to last the test of time, it’s an interesting read when one considers it to be a love letter. The story’s dynamics seem to change, if not become the basis of a deeper understanding. One can only imagine the author’s lover reading the next chapter.

The story is written by a female: Taking a step back, it’s interesting to note that The Story of O was written by a female. For all the criticism the story gets, no one can erase the fact the author is female. Feminists are the first to complain that the story is misogynist and promotes the abuse of women. That issue is entirely complicated considering the fact a woman wrote it with deep love to another. The story almost validates itself as a woman’s exploration into her own feelings of love or considering a darker side to her love. It’s amazing to think this banned book was written by a person many feminists could admire.

O is the perfect submissive:  I’m not saying that O is perfect in the sense of flawless. What I’m getting at is O is a submissive that submissives can see themselves in. We see a character’s thoughts, and the struggling emotions of being driven to the lowest depths of submission. Each time we see O with her Master, we see a woman deeply in love. She wants to be pleasing, and works towards the goals other stress upon her. Deep down, O’s struggle is easy to relate to in an extremely profound and unusual way. At times, it’s not so wonderful seeing ourselves in her character…we just can’t help it.

The line between abuse and pleasure are blurred: Within the story is an interesting dynamic that readers and audiences have debated to this day. Is O the product of abuse or is she the willing participant of everything that happens? What’s unique about this story is that the author refuses to tell readers her conclusions on the issue. As a reader, there must be a self examination that takes place. The answer to the question between where the line is between abuse and love is something only the reader can answer. For many people, the answer will be surprisingly challenged each time.

I hate the ending: While this may not seem like a positive at first, in the long term it is. The story crawls inside your being, and then leaves you with a very sad and deep ending. As a submissive the ending of O’s story is all too real. Being blunt, the ending is quite upsetting. This is one of the things that makes the story profound in my opinion. Not every sexual relationship is perfect, especially when it comes to the BDSM community. A story that portrays things realistically should still be considered for the creative work that it is, maybe even more so.

The Story of O has been read by many people in different walks of life. For some people, the experience can be quite upsetting and painful. Personally, some of the story’s scenes will stay embedded in my mind forever. This doesn’t make a story bad however, and I’m quite fond of being challenged on such personal levels. That’s why this book is my favorite, it’s realistic, it’s honest, and it seems quite personal. Being a submissive, it’s amazing how difficult it is to capture what it’s like being so. This story does that, and in my experience, it does so well. That’s why while I may not wish to reread this story…I probably will at some point. When I do, I know it’ll be just as profound, and just as challenging.

Thirty Days of Kink: Day Twenty – Intriguing Slave Girl Curiosity

“Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about/don’t understand.”

There are plenty of sexual acts that I’m curious about, but I’m actually more intrigued by the things I don’t quite understand. I think that part of what drives a submissive is self-exploration. The difficult thing about exploring myself has always been a complicated set of emotions and motivations. It isn’t always easy to admit the truth of a situation, but that’s not the most difficult part of self exploration. For me, the toughest part of exploring myself has always been admitting I don’t always know. If I don’t understand myself, how can I expect others to? Not being able to understand certain desires or motivations has always bothered my thoughts. In an effort to better understand my kinky and submissive self, I’ve come to acknowledge there are intriguing parts of myself I may never truly understand. Here’s just a few.

All of my kinks are connected: This is a part of myself and BDSM that I don’t think many people realize. BDSM is great at encouraging exploration, and so many people discover this intriguing fact. Sitting down, I discovered once that all of my fantasies were connected through a web of different ideas and sexual curiosity. What I’ll never be able to understand is how so many people experience the same fact. Many of us within the community acknowledge our fantasies have a root desire. We just don’t really know how all of them interact, or even if they’re the same threads from person to person.

Kinky people seem born that way: The more I learn about the BDSM community as a whole, the more I realize many people have the same initial experiences that I did. For us, we can’t really remember not being kinky. This desire can be traced back into our childhood, even before we understood what it meant. Are kinky people simply born that way? If so, is there some odd genetic cause to it? Possibilities are endless to this intriguing idea. I often try and disprove this thought or theory, but so far, I haven’t been able too. This just makes such a thing even more difficult to navigate.

Religiously Kinky People: Now, I know this one is a sensitive topic, but it’s true. How it is that kinky people can be religious intrigues the hell out of me. I was never able to blend my kinky nature with what I saw as suppressive views on sexuality. This is made even more difficult considering many people have religious themed kinks. How can these people function in both environments?  I’m jealous…seriously I am. I’m not sure if I’m far too kinky to behave, or if I’m just more extreme than others in my thinking. Either way…I’m curious about it.

So, those are the things that intrigue me most about the BDSM community. While these things don’t really disrupt my sleep, they do make my mind wonder. Debating these topics is something that I rather enjoy. Part of my submissive nature is to better understand myself, and that includes discovering what others have found out. Seeking out in others this curious behavior helps me point it out in myself. At times, I can easily accept the things I’ll never know. For the most part however, I’m not willing to accept that something is unknowable. If it were truly unknowable, I probably wouldn’t bother to obsess over knowing the answer. I’m sure that there are desires about myself that intrigue the hell out of others. Maybe the more I share about myself, I’ll find my own answers in others too.