“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,” he began, “especially a naughty little girl…” – Jane Eyre
In a weird twist of fate, I came across an article discussing the six most common sexual fantasies of women. After having briefly mentioned how I came to better understand my own fantasies, I thought sharing this article would be fun. Because I’m an open submissive, I can’t just share the article which you can read here. No, as a submissive I have to comment on each of these common fantasies. While I have yet to read what each of these fantasies are, I’m sure I’ll be disclosing some rather personal and insightful areas of my own fantasy life. That said, in no way should these six common fantasies be considered applicable to all women. The fantasies could always serve as a good conversation starter though.
Fantasy One – Being Masturbated: As a female, I can honestly say, I think we all have this fantasy in one way or another. While I definitely feel this fantasy applies, the specifics are probably a bit different than most. I find the idea of being masturbated in front of a group for their entertainment purposes highly appealing, though completely embarrassing. Ah, the struggle with my own inner desires is alive and well. Another interesting note since we’re on the subject of masturbation and fantasies is that I also have the fantasy of being made to self pleasure while my Master or whoever he chooses watches. So yes, this fantasy applies in many interesting ways.
Fantasy Two – Having a Threesome: This fantasy has so many variations I scarcely know where to start. Yes, this fantasy applies to me probably because I’m Bisexual… or just plain kinky. For me, the threesome fantasy always involved one man and two women. In some ways, a threesome happens to be a more intimate fantasy in my mind than most of my desires seem to others. Part of the threesome fantasy that could possibly make it more my own is the interesting dynamic of not choosing the event itself. In the depths of my mind, I enjoy the thought of my Master randomly having me engage in such a sexual act. Oddly enough, the threesome fantasy I have in particular remains rooted in other interplay of my submission and lifestyle.
Fantasy Three – Being Dominated: Do I even need to say this applies? I suppose not all submissives are dominated so okay, it applies! Lately, I’ve actually been examining this area of my fantasy life more closely. I do happen to fall into what the article classifies as the 28% of women with forced sex fantasies. However, I’ve learned plenty about the physical part of BDSM play in the last few months. Do I want to be whipped, spanked, tied up, and made to submit… absolutely. I also happen to know how those acts of domination correspond to the mental aspects of my submission though. In time, I’m sure I’ll get to see this fantasy become reality… and then who knows how it’ll transform and take shape!
Fantasy Four – Sex with a Stranger: In some ways, I’ve already admitted to possessing this fantasy as well. The difference in my own fantasy life is the motivation. According to the article at least, many women see this as ‘no strings attached’ sex. This does not apply to my fantasy or motivate it in any shape or form. In my fantasy my Master chooses a random partner (one he knows), and the sexual relationship or ‘random’ sex with a stranger is carried on for a length of time. Part of this fantasy does include never fully knowing this particular person, but being able to understand the ‘long term’ random stranger relationship exists. I know, it’s complicated but what can I say?
Fantasy Five – Sex in a Public Place: Much to my dismay this fantasy does apply. I’m not happy about that fact at all. I’m actually really embarrassed by the idea of being taken advantage of in public. However, the nature of the act and vulnerability involved with having sex in public is what makes the fantasy so appealing. My Master would certainly need to push my limits for this one, but I trust him to best know that process. Sex in public, or the idea of getting caught is certainly arousing. Perhaps that’s why I distinguish in my mind between getting caught, exhibitionism, and public sex. Getting caught isn’t high on my list, at least that I’ll admit to. That hinted at, exhibitionism does have a sexual appeal I can never quite figure out why to.
Fantasy Six – Romantic Sex in a Romantic Setting: Okay sure, why not have this fantasy? I have to admit, I’ve never really let my fantasies linger on the romantic. Lately though, I can slowly start to see this becoming more of a common sexual temptation. My romantic place would probably be a huge comfy bed in the middle of nowhere, and the sex would more than likely take place in the rain. Now that such a fantasy just seems odd, I hope it’s romantic too. Every woman, even submissives want to know they’re loved. Romantic sex in a romantic place, especially when sprung on the woman, is certainly a way to accomplish that.
Taking a step back from the fantasy disclosure, I can see that these fantasy all encompass various aspects of a female’s sex life. There are times I can see these things applying to all women in some aspect or another, but then again, where would the fun in that be? While I’m tempted to ask what men’s fantasies entail, I do happen to have some knowledge about that too. Talking with my Master about my own fantasy has allowed for a better understanding of how men and women differ in their mental fantasy life. To my amazement, men tend to focus on the emotion behind the fantasy not unlike females.
For me, that little bit of information was a big deal. I’ve been trying to examine how it plays into my life ever since, and then I found this article. Now, I happen to see how it could possibly be a benefit. I think men tend to understand what motivates their fantasies more than women. For a woman, that could possibly be another factor in why disclosing our fantasies can be a challenge. We struggle with wanting to be dominated, all because we fail to understand not every fantasy is motivated by a desire for sexual pleasure. At times, we can want to feel vulnerable, and in that vulnerability there is the knowledge our partner will protect us. Our heart gets to race a little faster, and that’s just fine!
Phaedras Submission 