The Complexity of Being Daddy’s Girl

“Behaving like a princess is work. It’s not just about looking beautiful or wearing a crown. It’s more about how you are inside.” – Julie Andrews

Being a Daddy’s girl is difficult to explain. How does a woman become a Daddy’s girl? The situation is really a perplexing one, as a Daddy’s girl is both expected and shunned by society. There will always be the cute fondness from others when they see a girl behaving like a Daddy’s girl provided its in her younger years. As a woman matures however, the traits of a Daddy’s girl turn less desirable. What was once labelled cute becomes bratty or immature. Women who desire a prince charming are told to grow up, or simply stop dreaming. At some point that’s what it really comes down to, a Daddy’s girl is told she’s too old to be Daddy’s little girl anymore.

Behind the mentality of a Daddy’s girl is something much deeper than wanting to believe in fairy tales though. While many may see a Daddy’s girl as unusually innocent, immature, bratty, or entitled, the truth can be much different. When combined with a natural BDSM tendency, Daddy’s girls are often well… complicated. It’s worth noting that to my knowledge, Daddy’s girls have always been seen as submissive in the BDSM community. This remains true, even while some today resent how Daddy’s girls seem to treat their male partners. I know there are exceptions to this, but I feel strongly these exceptions exist outside the BDSM community especially taking into account long term lifestyle choices. These same lifestyle choices often dictate how others see or interpret the behavior of a Daddy’s girl.

At the heart of a Daddy’s girl are the same desires a grown woman feels. Every Daddy’s girl wants to feel safe, valued, loved, and able to achieve their dreams. There might be a playfulness to them that is unique, but I hardly think it’s fair to say a grown woman cannot possess this same attitude regardless of age. At some point, every adult wants to play on the swing set too. Remembering that being a Daddy’s girl only highlights the desires that already exists, we can examine the complexity behind this mentality. Perhaps what’s really complex is not the thoughts or behaviors, but rather the average experience a Daddy’s girl faces throughout her life.

To start, a Daddy’s girl will grow up relatively without notice of being different. After all, little girls are expected to love and admire their fathers. Little girls can wear their hair in pigtails, dress in the frilliest of clothing, and worship the ground her father walks on, all without the suspicion of others ever being raised. In time a Daddy’s girl will grow up to incorporate her tastes into more adult avenues, also without notice. Sooner or later though, a Daddy’s girl will have to face the dating world. This is where things really do change for a Daddy’s girl, as she begins to notice how different her desires are from other girls.

At first, a Daddy’s girl will be told its cute to think of her father as her prince charming. How many times are women told they seek out men like their fathers? Somehow, this idea remains in the minds of others without incident or issue. Still, after a certain point, a Daddy’s girl is no longer able to say such a thing. A Daddy’s girl will grow up to discover that one day her prince charming is expected to be someone like her father, but yet completely different. To a girl who has idolized her father, this presents a world of problems. After all, prince charming is supposed to find the princess on his own. How many women actually find a husband this way? Anyone?

This “prince charming” issue is really the first thing a Daddy’s girl will notice. From that point forward she’ll be told she has Daddy issues, often this lasts the rest of her life. Part of the major issue behind this stage in a Daddy’s girl life is the fact she cannot date the men who will make her happy long term. Some Daddy’s girl are mature enough to notice this early on, and they find their dating world shattered. For a girl who wants to be considered normal or accepted by others, being a Daddy’s girl presents too many problems. To a Daddy’s girl, the ideal man is older, usually her father’s own age, and that is where all the problems are. This natural attraction to older men is well… creepy to her peers and unaccepted by society.

What motivates a Daddy’s girl desire for an older man will depend on the particular Daddy’s girl. However, I suspect a few of the common reasons will surprise a majority of people on the outside of this BDSM lifestyle. For starters, I feel many Daddy’s girl desire the comfort and protection they feel is provided by an older man or one their father’s age. Consider also, the probability of a Daddy’s girl having anything in common with boys her own age. If a Daddy’s girl has spent her entire life hanging onto her Daddy’s pant leg, odds are she’s quite mature for her age. This means, a Daddy’s girl will often find boys her age immature, unable to carry an interesting conversation, and even lack ambition. Whatever the case might be, a Daddy’s girl often doesn’t recognize any of these factors in her sexual identity.

Ironic as it may seem, a Daddy’s girl will often have no idea she’s also a sexual Daddy’s girl. Never do people mention the existence of a submissive Daddy’s girl. This discovery is often an occasion to be celebrated, though it might not always be applied right away. BDSM can seem frightening to a Daddy’s girl, especially one in her early twenties. Prince charming was never depicted holding a whip, and often neither does a Daddy’s girl own idea of the perfect man. The problem with BDSM is it is an all encompassing label, and because of this there are many different areas in which Daddy’s girls find themselves able to thrive.

For example, a bratty Daddy’s girl may very well look forward to her Daddy holding that whip. Many women enjoy the idea of being punished like a little girl, though some do not. A princess Daddy’s girl will often want to explore her often conflicting desire for more feminine hobbies and traits. In general, a Daddy’s girl might not even be aware of her true motivations. This means a Daddy’s girl can shift between a bratty stage and that of a princess. At the core though, there is often the need to be valued, protected, and sheltered. Daddy’s girl do not desire to be dependent on their partner or Master, it’s a trait they naturally possess.

Daddy’s girls are naturally complex, and that presents a world of problems. As much as these problems might seem difficult to the women, they’re often savored by the Daddy figures in their lives. At some point, a woman will stop caring about the opinions of others. To a submissive Daddy’s girl, all that matters is the safety and comfort she feels when Daddy holds her. Outsiders can judge a Daddy’s girl playful attitude, naive approach to life, or criticize her hairstyle, but Daddy will always be there at the center of his little girl’s world. For some, that’s all that really matters. There’s nothing complex at the end of the day, as long as Daddy’s there for his little girl to snuggle with and yes, disclose her most intimate thoughts to.

Deep Desires & Punishment

“Punish me, punish me with no other thought, than that it brings you pleasure to do so.”

Very few times have I ever been punished by my Master, though the times are growing more and more. Recently, I’ve grown to understand what punishment truly means. For those uncertain of it, punishment is not used to really “punish” a behavior. Slaves enjoy their punishments, and so it is used to encourage behavior. This takes time to learn, especially if one is accustomed to paying for a certain wrong act through punishment. It takes plenty of trust and communication to truly know a punishment can enjoyed. Once the punishment starts however, it’s extremely hard to do anything other than enjoy it! Recently, my Master punished me simply to do so. This was the first time I had ever experienced such an act, and it was immensely arousing.

Being punished for no reason at all, is highly significant in its first time. My first time was one of pure bliss, based on the understanding of being punished simply because it brings pleasure to do so. For a full night, my punishment was kept secret from me, and I was left to ponder what would happen. In the morning, I was surprised to not dread being punished, but rather, was aroused by it. I looked for every opportunity to bring up my punishment, my mind begging for it. Finally when the time came to bring it up, I was shocked by my punishment. My Master, wanting to teach me the truth about my Masochism, had me sit there, and come up with ways to punish myself. This was to involve pain, though in a purely sexual, masochistic way. For the first time in my life, I was at a loss, I didn’t know how to respond.

The thoughts that went through my mind were honestly complex, and complicated. My mind worked out the usual thoughts, and then slowly, felt out the appropriate responses. In reality, this meant sharing every thought, allowing my Master to guide them into the right directions. Once comfortable, I was surprised by a great many desires. For days, my Master had been pulling out desire after desire, sometimes unknown to myself. With my masochistic punishment, there was a deeper level of honesty. When my Master told me to go get an object used in my punishment, I surprisingly, eagerly, jumped at the chance. I was wet the entire time of my punishment, and it brought immense physical pleasure. Not only that, but my punishment will continue to affect my thoughts with everyday actions from now on.

There comes a point, with a slave, when expressing their desires, that they develop unique needs. My Master calls these needs slave’s needs. They are purely emotional mental needs, ones only a Master’s presence can sate. For some this sounds weird, but to a slave, trust me, this is a deep intimate bond. In my punishment, for it to surface, my Master knew instantly that I had formed a slave’s need. Did I know that’s what I was experiencing, not at the time. I had never before experienced such a deep urge to be near someone, to be completely theirs. In some ways, out of this need, came my Master’s understanding that I needed to be punished for his pleasure alone. That it deepened within me, my own needs, my own pleasure, all while knowing his tenderness and love.

At times, there are parts of slavery that others would look at with contempt. Society has sparked many different opinions on slavery, and the punishment of a slave. The truth is, who could be against what I’ve described? Committing a pleasurable act, consented by both parties, and carried out with love, is wrong to who? While it may not be in everyone’s comfort zone, which I can understand, that doesn’t make the actions less valid or less loving. To be punished is a source of great pride, it is to be built up, not brought low. Being pleasured, even as a masochist, means that I am loved and will never be harmed. I am confident in that fact, I act on that fact, and I love with that fact in my thoughts. As a slave, I take great pride in being punished, and I don’t mind shouting to the world when I am!

Love in Restraint

“This is a life changing moment for you, one that you will not quickly forget.”

Slaves often find themselves, before their Masters take them, as submissives. A submissive is not a rare, or even bad thing, The state of things a true slave will go through however, while trying to find a Master, is not pleasant. There are true dominates who are good people, who would never hurt an individual. At the same time however, there are dominates that take things too far. Part of being in a Master and slave relationship,  means discussing these character differences. Experiences shape us, sometimes more than we know. My Master, recently, reminded me of that more than anyone. The pain I went through as a submissive has always haunted me. These relationships, yes there was many of them, left me with truly bad view of healthy sexual tastes or desires.

While many would find this too private to share, I share it in the hopes it helps. My biggest issue, the deepest I had, was in regard to punishment. For a submissive, subject to a crueler dominate, punishments are not pleasant. In fact, most punishments break an individual, as that is ideal. Often, I was punished by a dominate, for failing to do a task that crossed a personal boundary. At other times, the situation was vastly more complicated. One dominate, punished me for being disloyal and unfaithful to him, simply for indulging in his fantasy of group sex. The punishments for these things always varied, at times I was degraded, others, humiliated, threatened, or what I call completely broken. To be completely broken, it is the worst thing, any individual, Master, slave, dominate, or submissive, could ever wish on another.

There was literally a point I hit, out of desperation, that I no longer cared. The sexual pleasure was a sudden side effect,and was always quick to leave. My boundaries weren’t respected, and so, I stopped caring. Worst of all, I felt I needed this punishment. After hearing so many times how pathetic I was, how no one would want me, how I was too clingy, or suddenly, not clingy enough, I believed all of it. I stayed with that particular dominate, until I finally was given the courage by others to leave. Since that day, and a few temptations of going back, I never dealt with the issues. Pain, there was a lot of physical and emotional pain involved. I had locked it all up, in sort of Pandora’s box, and left it to collect dust. That is, until my Master decided, no more box, and especially, no more dust.

Yes, I outright refused to obey my Master, which surprised even myself. He gave me an easy command, one I even wanted and begged to happen for days. Worse, after denying it, I debated obeying another three or four times, all of which my Master saw. That time passed slowly, as I sat there, simply waiting for my punishment. To my surprise, instead, my Master asked me why I had done that. This shocked me, and I was suddenly taken for the worst punishment with the sweetest bliss in my life. I told my Master all of it, everything, about what I swore to keep in that Pandora’s box. My Master didn’t even have to make me tell him, I wanted to tell him, still mentally awaiting my punishment. For slaves, I’m discovering, it can be quite a clue, when a Master asks anything, you’re probably being punished!

My Master showed me the mental fallacy that had been created, due to the dominates. I feared being punished, the once enjoyable sex acts, always to turn into a breaking point. There was real fear in myself, a fear only sometimes known to a vulnerable person. Master wouldn’t have that anymore, when he said he wouldn’t whip me, being honest, I was disappointed. That was the moment, the way he told me pain wasn’t the way to handle me, but pleasure, that was the right solution. Can you imagine that? Anyway, I was left completely lost in my punishment, and yes, there was immense pleasure. There is the joy of finally being able to say truly, I am a masochist. I can say I will never be physically hurt by any man. Most importantly though, I can say, my Master loves me enough, to control himself, and not take advantage of a willing, obedient, and quite submissive slave girl.

Topping from Below

“I have come to crave my punishments, for they are bliss, and music to my ears.”

Before becoming a slave, I had never heard of topping from below. I should point out this is amazing, because I was in D/S relationships. This, for those who didn’t know either, can be viewed as a huge problem. Learning what topping from below is all about, can be a bit embarrassing actually. My Master swears this is a normal, healthy, and expected quality or behavior I will always express. In his eyes, there’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. As a slave, I can’t help but feel a slight pain of regret, at least when displaying this behavior. There’s many layers as to why I’m inclined to feel regret, but in my slavery, comes recognizing those layers. If I think of even a small insignificant experience related to an emotion, my Master needs to hear about it. That’s the way my Master taught me about topping from below, and expressing my emotions.

As part of my training, I suppose my Master wanted to know when I’d test him. I was a very new slave, and I had high hopes of never failing a task. This a dream most slaves have, being perfect from the beginning, and it will never be the case. My Master, because he knows me better than I do, decided to test me. I know now why he did this, as it taught many lessons in one action. Still though, I don’t want anyone thinking my Master is cruel, so I had to say it. Anyway, I wanted to know a particular fact about my Master, which he decided to withhold. This withholding was worse than a simple no, as I wanted to know, well, when I wanted to. Slaves cannot demand anything, and I was being a spoiled slave, throwing my first fit. I’d like to hope this fit was a mild one, but it was what my Master had wanted all along.

There was a punishment for topping from below, which was well established. When a slave, like myself, tries to top their Master, it is for security. Submissives try to top from below, because they desire to truly have their way. A slave however, tries to top her Master, knowing she should fail. It’s her way of begging to be reminded of her place, sometimes because the Master wishes it. My Master, I can only imagine, was more than happy to know I wanted to test his strength. This was not an insult, but merely a condition of becoming his completely dependent slave. One cannot be a slave, unless the ties of ownership cannot be fought out of. Resisting is a wonderful thing to a Master’s eyes, but for a slave it can be quite shocking. I honestly didn’t even recognize that’s what I was doing at all.

When my Master took time to explain why I was being punished, I was actually overjoyed. My first punishment was a slight dread in my mind, as I worried over it. I was delighted to learn my punishment, meant I was completely forgiven. There was never a wrong committed against my Master, only an action that required addressing. Punishments were actually part of being a slave, and not looked at badly or with distaste. For me, this was an extremely important lesson that I needed to learn early. My past did not allow for this thought to naturally occur, but that has since been corrected.At times, I swear my Master peers into my soul, sees a barrier, and knocks it down for me. I swear that my Master does this with an ease unknown to any man before him, and I love him all the more for it.

Topping from below is actually an interesting phrase, and an important concept. Slaves should never intentionally do this, but unintentionally, it’ll happen. This provides the Master a perfect time to teach a slave her place. What my Master did for me when he wouldn’t let me top him, was the surest sign of understanding. Any Master can sign a slave to himself, but not every Master can take a slave, and handle her initial resisting. To come out on top of his slave, a Master must truly be completely capable. In a slave’s eyes, the defeat of their action, is bliss and comfort. There is no shame in trying to accidentally top my Master, as I know he will always set me right. The lessons learned in moments like this, for a slave, are irreplaceable, and add to their value. I am made better by my punishments, and my understanding.